i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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