I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
he wants to bone in the snuggie
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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