bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
