the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
