I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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