i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
