Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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