I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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