Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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