"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
