went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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