Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
