I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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