i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
be right there i have to get my cape
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize