Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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