What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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