Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize