Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
