So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize