if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
