So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
birth control should be required to get into college
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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