if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
