these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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