i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
MIDGETS
????
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