you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize