I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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