i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
