Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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