there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize