I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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