i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
