Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
