no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
