She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize