Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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