i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
