I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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