i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Everything about him screamed your future.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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