Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
