You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
