fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
