I hate all girls vehemently.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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