Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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