I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize