He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
