if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize