she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
