well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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