I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She's the barista slut.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
