it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
do nipples grow back?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
