You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Sorry about my life...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
