Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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