You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
