some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize