Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
