I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
