i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Randomize
