and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
