mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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