Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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