is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
