I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
