I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize