I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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