I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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