I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
