i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize