I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
