You made me cry and you don't even care
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Randomize
