You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
