Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
