He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
