Need sex. Gaining weight.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
