Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
