if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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