Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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