He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
