he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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