Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize