I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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